We suppose “La Slurpe” was taken.

Only the French could look at galoshes and think of amour.

For centuries the French have been kissing without talking, but now they have to get all, like, oral. The new Petit Robert dictionary (pronounced, sexily, “petty robare”) contains the verb galocher, meaning “to kiss with tongues.”

The term comes from la galoche, an ice skating boot. Only the French could look at galoshes and think of sex. But apparently they were thinking about skating as well—you know, gliding tongues and all that.

Philosophers of language say that all words are analogies, templates that connect us to reality. To a linguist, a kiss isn’t just a kiss. It’s also a figures competition.

Try this dialogue with someone who attracts you.

You: Voulez-vous galocher avec moi?

Attractive Other: Gallows what?

You: Galocher. It means kissing with tongues skating in galoshes.

If the A.O. is a word geek, the result will be an entirely hygienic conversation. A win for rhetoric and for public health!